Pitchfork writer Alphonse Pierre’s rap column covers songs, mixtapes, albums, Instagram freestyles, memes, weird tweets, fashion trendsand anything else that catches his attention.

Is Teezo Touchdown really that weird?

Ugh, do we need another rapper who treats rap as a forgettable slide in their 100 point branding masterplan? Enter Beaumont, Texas’ Teezo Touchdown, who has been positioned as the next “rap weirdo,” which of course means he’s not that weird at all. He’s been handpicked as a haute couture muse because he’s apparently very unique to people who have never spent five minutes scrolling through SoundCloud. Empty phrases like “punk,” “rockstar,” and “indie” are often tied to his music to mitigate the fact that there’s nothing there.

Just take a look at his thin catalog. There’s a 2019 track called “100 Drums” where he unremarkably raps over Panic! At the Disco’s “I Write Sins Not Tragedies.” (When will rappers understand that liking one of the most popular songs of the 2000s is not as different as they think?) Then in 2020 he went mildly viral with “SUCKA!” in which he raps like he’s been extracted from a Blaxploitation movie: “Why you hatin’ like a jive sucka?” His warbles might bring to mind a more melodic ZelooperZ of Danny Brown’s Bruiser Brigade crew, except without the ear for production, nimble flow switch-ups, or, well, talent. Nevertheless Teezo failed up, nabbing co-signs from internet favorites like Kenny Beats and Lil Yachty, appearing in an Instagram photo with Madonna, and landing an unmemorable feature on Tyler, the Creator’s Call Me If You Get Lost. Next up is the coveted opener spot on Tyler’s upcoming tour.

What he does have going for him are his music videos, which are usually filmed on a driveway with weeds growing out of the concrete, in front of the same graffiti-covered garage doors. Teezo, normally dressed like a Demolition Man extra and acting is if he’s unaware the cameras are on him, adds a new wrinkle into each one to make them hypnotic on the first watch: Whether it be the gyrating mascots in “Rooting for You,” or how he stands on a dinner table in front of an indifferent Big Jade in “Technically.” But even with these goofy visuals, it’s hard to ignore just how much the music itself is an afterthought. On his new song “I’m Just a Fan” he employs this cheesy songwriting trick where he writes from the perspective of a literal house fan. The accompanying video shows him in a nail-strewn puffy dress with his arms spinning like fan blades, and it mostly just looks like an ad for designer Matthew Williams’ collaboration with Moncler.

It makes sense though. Teezo has stirred more social media chatter for the six inch nails stuck in his hair, or the black mesh tops and leather pants that make him look like he’s in a parody of an ’80s hair metal video, than he has for any song. Because of this he’s gotten the love that every fashion-obsessed rapper dreams of: glowing profiles in publications like Dazed Digital, The Face, and most recently GQ, who are notoriously selective about which rappers they cover; and close ties with hot fashion brands like Telfar and Balenciaga.